Sarah just calculated that we spent just over 10,000 dollars on medical expenses last year - a sizable chunk out of our budget. That's the bad news. The good news is we can claim more than half of that as a deductible on our taxes, so we'll increase our refund amount be a considerable sum. So I got that goin' for me.

In some of the down time over the holidays I surfed the web for blogs and forums of other parents raising kids with Type I diabetes. I like it because it provides a place to vent for people who truly understand what goes on in a household like ours on a day to day basis. So in one sense it was cool to see the perspective of others and know that we're overcoming the same hurdles and challenges that thousands of other families are dealing with at the same time. However, some of the stories I have read have made me quite a bit more depressed about the life Andy is going to have to live - forever. Maybe that's a good thing, in some respect - since I tend towards the blindly quixotic - I need to be brought down to Earth for a good dose of realism now and then.

Most distressing are the comments people have had to endure from freinds, family members and strangers, such as... (paraphrasing) "A man at the gym saw my 8 year old daughter's pump and said, to both of us, "Hey, is that one of those diabeted pumps? My aunt had one of those. It malfunctioned one night and she died in her sleep. Welp, see ya later!" If I had been her I would have chased him down and ripped his eyes out. The mom who wrote that said she had a talk with her daughter about how that really doesn't happen- but how can you forget something like that? This 8 year old now has to go to sleep each night wondering if she's going to die in her sleep.

So then I began to think of Andy's perspective on all of this - every night enduring mom and dad telling him to finish the food we gave him - otherwise he'll have a low. Has he heard anyone say that blood sugar that's too low can result in seizures, coma, or death? Does he carry that fear around with him? I don't think he knows what a coma is, and I don't know if he understands how serious his disease is. I'm pretty sure he understands that other people don't have to go through all the schedules, carb counting, shots and blood sugar checks like he does. I wish I could read his mind like a book, though, and see if he is carrying around a bunch of stress and fear that Sarah and I aren't seeing. I want to protect him from the ignorant comments of people - at least until he's old enough to really understand what diabetes is all about

Answers to Adoption Home Study Questions

What would your answers be?

Who is Jesus Christ according to your understanding?
Jesus Christ is the human embodiment of God, the Creator of the universe. God is spirit (John 4:24) and is, frankly, not relatable or approachable in our human experience. Therefore, God, who is infinitely powerful (again, not relatable to our frail human experience), chose to make himself fully human through his son, who experienced the full gamut of humanity from birth to death, including pain, sadness, defeat, etc.- as well as joy, friendship, and victory. Because of this, we are now able to understand God’s love for us, whereas before Jesus, humans were more likely to only understand His judgment. We now are able to see Jesus and understand that, just as a human father’s (or mother’s) love is expressed in both judgment (or discipline) and mercy on his children, God also grants discipline and mercy on His children, which opens the door for us to understand the true character of God.

How did you come to this understanding?
Micah 6: 8 says, “He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” I believe this is the heart of the Gospel and as close to the characterization of God’s character as described above. We are to practice justice, which is the striving for righteousness in ourselves and others – and we are to practice mercy, which is the act of loving people in spite of their shortcomings in righteousness, since “no one is righteous, no not one.”
I would say that my understanding of who Jesus is and how he leads us to the true character of God has come from both the study of this idea and the experience of failure when it comes to seeking righteousness. I have personally experienced God’s mercy and forgiveness and come to the obvious conclusion that without it, it is pointless to pursue righteousness. I find the paradox intriguing that if I was indeed able to achieve righteousness, I would then no longer have a need for His mercy, which would then nullify my claim for eternal life as His son through Jesus’ death on the cross. So it is only because of my failures and the recognition of Jesus’ perfection that I am ultimately able to receive God’s mercy.
A daily reminder of this is healthy in my overall understanding of who Jesus is!

What does the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ mean to you personally?
Honestly, the inner workings of the process from “unsaved” to “saved” through Christ’s death and resurrection has always been over my head. I have heard numerous preachers, pastors and friends say that Christ took all the sin of the world (including, of course, mine), as well as the entirety of God’s judgment, which declares that the punishment for sin is death, on himself. Therefore, they say, the simple recognition of this by me somehow means I have been saved from an eternity apart from God. How exactly God can take this nebulous “sin” of mine, which are thoughts or acts created solely by me, and transport such a “thing” onto Jesus, as well as the idea that somehow killing Jesus suddenly makes me free from sin, is beyond me. I have to date concluded that God is infinitely powerful and can do anything he wants, including a baffling (from my perspective) transportation of a thought originating in my brain into Jesus’ brain. I tend to over-analyze things and perhaps this is one of those cases. But for now I am content in knowing that somehow Jesus lives inside me and that by the Holy Spirit, I am able to overcome all things, including sin by His mercy and grace, which leads me into eternal life. His resurrection was necessary to show that we are not destined for eternity apart from God. An identity in Jesus as our deliverer from sin is our only path to righteousness, which is the only way to get near to God, who is infinitely holy.
I hope to have further and deeper revelation of this process as I continue on my Christian walk.

How do you employ Christian principles in your family life?
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control – the fruit of the Spirit – are principles that should be practiced daily, and exemplify the core of Christian principles as it can be practiced towards others.
Another way to put it, the best way to employ Christian principles in family life is to try and love like Jesus loves. Jesus put the needs of others ahead of himself. Which means, for example, that if I want to go golfing but Sarah needs to have some time alone or needs to spend the money I would have spent on golf for diapers or an iced decaf low-fat Café Americano at Starbucks w/ a close friend, I put her needs ahead of my wishes and don’t go golfing.

How does your faith influence your parenting or plans to parent?
Parenting is a window into my soul. It constantly reminds me that to serve is better than to be served and to love means to strive to give other people joy. It tests my character, especially my patience and temper, because it is ridiculously obvious that my actions speak louder than words. Andy and Evan copy everything I do. While contributing to an inflated ego, this fact DEMANDS that I respond to them with fruit of the Spirit principles if I ever want to see it practiced in their lives.

How do you plan to meet the spiritual needs of your child?
Sarah and I plan to raise our children, including our adopted child, in the fear and admonition of the Lord, to give them a clear understanding of the love of Christ that is for them personally, and to encourage them to pursue a life of righteousness and integrity. We hope to instill in them principles of forgiveness and mercy, including a tender heart for the poor and fatherless in the world. Ultimately the decision to serve the Lord with their life is theirs, and we hope to successfully point them in this direction while allowing enough freedom for them to seek their own path to the Lord’s throne on their own.

Additional comments you would like to share?
Sarah and I both have a desire to live our lives with the understanding that we live in an obscenely wealthy country that is overflowing with materialism and hedonism. Our experiences with other cultures around the world have given us, I hope, a clearer picture of the role of the church in America and a more open attitude towards giving of our selves and our finances to support global ministries that help the poor and the lost. We love to see the same kinds of compassionate thoughts and prayers coming from Andy and Evan, and hope that they are not blinded by the materialism of America as they get older.

Support Andy in the JDRF Walk for a Cure!

Support Andy in the 2008 Walk to Cure DiabetesAs you may know, our 4 year old son Andy was diagnosed in February with Type 1 Diabetes. We have had a steep learning curve with this devastating disease in the last 6 months. Basically, Andy's pancreas stopped producing insulin, so we give him shots twice a day to help his body to function normally, without his organs shutting down (what happens if he doesn't get insulin).

This year, our family will be taking part in JDRF's Walk to Cure Diabetes (along with 500,000 other walkers across the country) as we raise money for research to be done to find a cure.There is some good news, though. For the first time, scientists are predicting that we CAN expect to see a cure well within our lifetime!Now, more than ever, you can make a crucial difference. Won't you please give to Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation as generously as possible? Together, we can make the cure a reality! Our family fundraising goal is $1500. I personally think we can raise much more than that though!

Would you please contribute? If everyone receiving this letter gave $25, we'd reach our goal! If you decide you'd like to give more, we'd exceed our goal and kids like Andy would be that much closer to getting a cure!Please visit my Walk Web page if you would like to donate online or see how close I am to reaching my personal goal:

http://walk.jdrf.org/walker.cfm?id=87039487

Thanks for joining us in finding a CURE!

Steve

P.S. If you're interested in joining our team, the walk is held on Sept 13th at America the Beautiful park in Colorado Springs. There will be lots of events for kids, vendors with snacks, etc. Registration starts at 9:00, the walk starts at 10:00. It's a 5k, so bring your kids in strollers and walk as much of it with us as you want!

Facebook

I don't have time to blog, but I guess I need a facebook page to spend time on, too... Wonder how long it will be before it is updated as regularly as my blog is.



I've been playacting as a general contractor for the past few weeks, tearing down the old deck and building a new one. Lots of trips to Home Depot. So far I haven't made any big mistakes and everything look like it is coming together nicely. I should have the framing completed this week and will start on the decking and the railing this weekend. Andy loves to help, so I try to find some easy and safe stuff he can do. For some strange reason Sarah doesn't like it if I let him use the Skillsaw...



Evan turns 2 in a couple weeks! He is SO fun! Sarah makes the best kids!

My night of abject terror

As I look back on the events of early Saturday morning, I feel like I was part of some experiment being performed by a powerful alien civilization...

Gork: Supreme commander Kooxa, I have begun the tests on the earthling specimen. We will soon know what reactions are typical by these life forms when subjected to extreme and sudden noises in the middle of the night. With luck, we will soon know how to immobilize them prior to our attack leading to world dominiation.

Kooxa: Good. Which noise are you going to use?

Gork: I will use an extremely loud buzzing noise - the kind that was emitted from late 1970 smoke alarms. We do not know why any of the earthlings would subject themselves to this kind of noise, as the effects of the noise on the humans are clearly more destructive than any smoke or fire could inflict. The wiring in the house is already connected. All we have to do is trip the alarm.

Kooxa: You may proceed, doctor Gork.

[extremely loud buzzing noise - try to imagine something that is louder than a harrier jet, sounds vaguely like a basketball game buzzer, the sound waves of which are able to actually vibrate the spine]

Gork: Hmmm. The earthling known as Steve jumped out of bed very quickly and disabled the buzzing with his hand. What did yell yell on his way to the hallway?

Kooxa: He yelled "Stop it"! He must be on to us! Abort! Abort!

[The cloaked spaceship leaves in a quiet whoosh back to its base behind the moon]

Seriously, it was the most frightened I have EVER been. I actually DID yell, "stop it!!" in my moment of unabated freak-out-ness as I tried to figure out where the noise was coming from, as if there was something or somebody who was making the noise that could. Unbelievable! I hit the smoke detector on the wall just outside the bedroom with my hand and it stopped. I disconnected the wiring and threw it in the trash. The adrenaline that was pumping through my (and my wife's) veins was such that there was no way I could go back to sleep.

The effects of the adrenaline were weird, too. Both my wife and I, talking about it later, related how we began to have irrational, yet vivid imaginations and visions - stuff like Evan's room or the attic being engulfed in flames, or someone in the house creeping up on the bed. Neither of us could close our eyes for more than a few seconds without opening them to see if something terrible was happening to us.

I still get chills all over my body just thinking about the noise.

No, I haven't quit my blog.

January 23, 2008 to April 7, 2008 = 75 days. Here's the update:

My older son, my pride and joy, my tough warrior kid who I love more than I could speak of, has Type I diabetes. He was diagnosed on February 19. I supposed I haven't blogged in a while because I didn't (and still don't do some degree) know how to respond to it. My initial reaction was fear (of the unknown - not really of death or major sickness). Will he be able to live a normal life? How will he react to having his finger poked and insulin shots every day? Will he be able to play sports? Will he have a shorter life-expectancy? Those questions were filling my head at the same time that I (and my wife) were expected to take a crash course on diabetes management.

Here are the basics: His body is no longer able to make insulin, which is necessary to carry sugars to the bodys' cells. Without this ability, sugar in the blood either builds up or is spent and not replenished, resulting in either hyper-glycemia or hypo-glycemia, respectively. If blood sugar gets too low, the danger is serious, as the brain requires sugar to function. If too high, the cells get energy by burning fat, the by-product of which produces ketones, which is an acid. If left unchecked for an extended period, the liver is damaged because it is working hard to rid the blood of this acid - not to mention that keto-acidosis causes severe sickness requiring hospitalization.

He has been SO incredibly brave in facing the changes that have taken place the last 45 days or so. He actually ENJOYS getting his finger poked - I think he likes the attention, and the prospect of getting a cool band-aid on his finger helps a little, too. He's not so keen on the insulin shots, but only a few times has really objected to it.

Sarah and I have bonded stronger, I believe, through the experience. Communication is vital in this, not to mention the unity of strength that we must be for each other's own peace and strength to face the unknowns. She has helped me in my moments of doubt and fear with her strengths and vice-versa. We are amazingly balanced in so many ways. Our differences combine together to make such an amazing and complete (although many times perplexing and frustrating) relationship. I know, as with any adversity, that those who look forward with optimism and faith, we will all be stronger than we would have been otherwise.

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:3-5

Politics

As a conservative, I'm with a lot of others like me who are not exactly enchanted by the group of Republican candidates for president. I was planning on voting for Fred Thompson, but he dropped out after the South Carolina primary. I think next in line for me is Guliani, and then Mitt. Each, I believe, has about the same amount of pros and cons. Guliani gets the edge, for me, though, because of the war on terror. Mitt Romney has said (he may have been talking to "moderates" at the time (see below) that he wishes to have more dialogue and understanding between our country and the Middle East to try and deal with radical Islam. Guliani, however, -and I am so on board with this sentiment- believes that no amount of talking will work when you consider the murderous mindset of the stereotypical Jihadist. They believe we are the Great Satan, and no amount of 'dialogue' will change their minds. That doesn't mean we stop trying to pursue diplomatic means, but it means that we absolutely will not tolerate the murder of innocents in the name of Allah.
Similarities between the two are as follows (as much as I can understand, anyway): they both will appoint constructionist judges, they both promise to get tough on illegal immigration (enforcement first), they both promise to be fiscaly conservative and curb government spending. I like how Guliani is a straight talker.
I don't like that Mitt appears to be more politcally-correct and pandering to the particular group he happens to be talking to.
I like that Mitt has a great record of pro-family policies and is now (hopefully) pro-life.
I don't like that Guliani is more pro-choice.

But my number 1 issue is counterterrorism and judges. Gotta give Guliani the nod.